Team Office

I have decided there are two types of people in this world......those who "get" The Office.....and those I just can't associate with....it's okay, I will still talk to "you people"....but I just won't be able to develop deep relationships with you. Sorry....

Spring has Sprung!

Texas wildflowers.....see? I found something I really like about living in Texas!


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Round 1 Knockout!

Check this out.....our neighbor Andy was out front "boxing" his son Chandler for fun and sport. They were having a good time, laughing and sparring...innocent "horseplay". Someone gave a pair of gloves to Doug, and then subsequently, I ended up with a pair after a short time. It was kind of a joke at first....the neighbors were cheering and jeering, telling Doug he was in for it now. I totally played it up and bobbed and weaved a few times. Then, I gave a sharp uppercut right near Doug's face, warning him of the hurt I could put on him. I punched at his gloves a few times for some awesome sound effects, and then I was pretty much done....but Doug had other ideas. He beckoned me to take some REAL shots. "I don't want to hurt you", I sweetly said. But NOOOOOOO, he wanted to fight, well, he wanted me to fight. I took a few jabs at him, making contact with his chest, and then suddenly.....KABAM!!!! I literally saw stars! MY HUSBAND SUCKER PUNCHED ME RIGHT IN THE NOSE! He claims I literally walked right into the glove, but as God is my witness....the dude nailed me in the septum. It took me a moment to shake off the shock and wipe the tears in my eyes. The gloves came off shortly there after, due mostly to Doug's deep guilt upon seeing my nose start to swell. Luckily, the puffy redness went away quickly....sort of a shame....I could have used that to make poor guilt ridden Doug do anything I wanted. I am on the comeback trail, though and in training....I think a big fat gold belt would be a nice accessory to any outfit!

Move Over Lindsey and Britney

So I am trying to give Kaelan a little bit of freedom and independence in certain day to day activities....I am really working at not being the "helicopter mom" who hovers over her at all times. Lately, she has taken a keen interest in what she wears....I don't know what clicked, she really has never cared about fashion. Purple socks with green shorts?...works for her. Plaid dress and polka-dotted tights? ....gets the job done. However, as of late, she wants to pick out her clothes, and she is especially fond of choosing her own special panties. I even had to move her "panty drawer" to a lower level so she could spend upwards of a half hour each morning caressing each pair and pondering which Disney Character would best accessorize the day's outfit. Little Mermaid today? Oh no, she would clash with her red skirt. Perhaps, the hot pink, embroidered Cinderella ones? Too dressy...those are good for church days. AHA! Lime green Tinkerbell with the magic dust stars all over.....Perfecto!
I have learned on school days, that Kaelan has to take care of the panty process the night before....otherwise, we will be late.
So, last night I told her it was time to pick out the perfect panties to go with her school outfit, and I plaed her little pink flower dress out on the dresser so she could coordinate. I started her night time bath and returned a few minutes later to hear her announce, "There, these are the perfect ones...all the Princesses on them." Great, I thought....that was quick and painless. She carefully placed them atop her dress, and we headed off for our night-night routine.
This morning, Kaelan was dragging, and I constantly had to remind her to "Hurry, hurry...we don't want to be late." When I went to dress her, she let me put her dress on, but informed me she was a big girl and could do the rest by herself....in that wonderful, whiny, toddler fashion.
I conceded and the left the room to find her ready to go....shoes on the wrong feet, mind you, but she was very pleased with her work!
I did the quick pancakes off the face wipe down, grabbed all our stuff, and headed for the door. I did a quick shoe switch while I loaded her in her car seat and distracted her with praises of how proud I was of her.
We turned on her favorite Joe McDermmott song, and we were off! On the way we talked about alligators and french fries...the usual stuff...just enjoying our time together. About a mile from the school (which is in our church, I need to remind you), Kaelan called to me from the back seat, "Mom....I look pretty today!" I nodded and smiled, "You sure do!"
"Mom!", she called again, "I didn't even have to wear panties to look cute!"
WHAT?????
U-TURN....we were late for school today after all!

Dont' call CPS on me!

Okay, so before the emails and comments go any further....no, I do not attend the Britney Spears School of Parenting.....apparently, I was unclear on my last blog. NO, my daughter did not say the word SH*T.....what she told me, was that her poo looked like the LETTER S. She really does have a rare talent that allows her to poo in the shape of some letters. My posting of "...." following the S, led many of you to believe my daughter not only loves dressing up as a pirate, but also swears like one as well. I hope this clarifies everything....
Oh, and I will stop driving to the mailbox with her on my lap...there is no good excuse for that one!

It looked like an S.....but it wasn't and S.....

A few days back, Darian, Kaelan and I read a book together called "It looked like Spilt Milk"....one of my faves....
We talked about clouds, we made some cute little cloud pictures.....we went outside and spied clouds through our "ultra cool cloud-spying machines", or empty paper towel rolls as you may call them. It was great cloud fun. Anyhow, for those of you who have not read the book, you can go to dropshots and hear Kaelan read it (http://www.dropshots.com/sjmcbrayer), or you can just let me tell you the synopsis. Basically, the story is full of pictures that look like spilt milk in different shapes, i.e. sheep, squirrel, bunnies, but at the end of the book you find out it was just clouds.
The line, "It looked like a _______, but it wasn't a _________" is repeated throughout the story....really, people.....read the book, my review isn't working.
Well,yesterday morning, Kaelan called me to the bathroom with excitement pouring from her eyes....
"Mom, come here...hurry!" That is enough to turn the blood cold. What did she do now? Flush her panties down the toilet? Wrap herself in a roll of toilet paper....again? Dump the soap on the cat?
As I rounded the corner, I found Kaelan wide-eyed and ready for her one liner...."Mom, look at my poopie...it looks like an S.....but it wasn't an S!"....Don't worry, no pictures this time....she was right, though!

St. Patrick's Day Party

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