Never Teach Your Child to Read!

****Warning!!!! This post may be offensive to following groups, so please be aware and take caution before reading.*****
*Small Children
*Older children
*All children
*Literacy groups
*Those thinking of learning how to read
*George W. Bush supporters
*Republicans
*Clergy
*Man in the little, blue Chevy with 800+ bumper stickers on his car

The following groups should refrain from reading this post at all:
*Grandparents

There. Now that we have all of that squared away, we can get to the business at hand.

Many of you in my close circle of friends (that sounds so exclusive, doesn't it?)....okay, those of you who I see on a regular basis have probably already heard this story, but I feel very strongly that I need to document this to hold over Kaelan's head someday. I hope I can use it for good and not evil.

While driving to school the other morning, we hit a stop light and found ourselves sitting in one form of that oh so wonderful Austin traffic. Mom drifted off to daydream land and focused on the dog in the back of the truck in front of her while Kaelan used her down time to catch up on some reading via the car next to us.

Suddenly she shook me out of my sunshine slumber and the following conversation ensued:

K: I thought you said his name was George.
Mom: Who? Curious George? It is George.
K: No. George Bush George. I thought you said his name is George. Who is (and here is the part I warned you about) WHO IS F*** BUSH?

Yes. It was THAT word. The mother of all curse words. I know, I was just as stunned as you are.

Mom: (completely stunned) What? What are you talking about?

K: See there on that car? It says F*** Bush. Who is he? Is that President Bush's name in the middle? I thought you said his name was George.

Mom: (Looking over at the car next to us and seeing the wallpaper of bumper stickers, begging my four year old read them aloud) Well.......(don't blow your Mommy of the Year opportunity) Kaelan, his name is George Bush.

K: Then who is F*** Bush? (oh, please stop saying that word)

Mom: (Not wanting to freak out and draw more attention to the word) I am not sure who that is, but looking at all those other bumper stickers, I see that car says a lot of not nice things. Maybe we should not read them or say them out loud.

K: Oh, okay mom. But we should ask Dad if he knows F*** Bush. Maybe he will know who he is. Maybe F*** Bush is George's brother or something. We will ask dad for sure.

Mom: Great idea! You do that when we see him later today.

**So you may disagree with how I handled that little scenario, but what would you have done? I am new to the whole Mother of the Year pageant, so I did my best in the question and answer session......perhaps I blew it. I guess there is always the swimsuit portion.**

And one more little post note.....I think my lack of reaction to the whole situation made our good friend F*** Bush very unremarkable or memorable. She hasn't' brought "him" up since and hopefully, never will again. We just won't talk politics around our house for a while to stay on the safe side.