Options

A little over 8 months ago, I sat in a doctor's office with sweat beading on my brow and upper lip awaiting the inevitable soft knock on the door followed by the entry of the doctor.   When the knock happened and the door opened in one fast motion, I sat up straight and prepared myself for the lashing to come.   I was pregnant.  I knew I was, now he probably knew I was, and he didn't want me to be.
This was the first doctor to tell me that pregnancy was just not going to be the best option for  me.  Not at that time, and maybe not ever.   He wasn't exactly friendly in the way he told me, but he was very stern in telling me to take precautions in preventing it.   I did.  I had reached the stage of resigning to not carry another child.  Heck, we were knee deep,  no make that neck deep in the adoption process.  
What I didn't expect to hear was what the doctor said to me in that visit.
"Well, this IS the reason the medical field offers us 'options'.   There are ways to fix these kind of issues and get you out of this kind of pickle."
Pickle?   Options?   Lots of token words, but later in the conversation he used stronger words that stung.   Words like "terminate".   Words like abortion.
That wasn't my favorite day.   I had two more doctors to face with the same news and I dreaded the same response.   I went to a specialist a week later completely ready to break up with yet another doctor.  I wasn't even going to let the conversation start down that same path.  I just decided to cut it off at the start and explain the "option" was not for me, give her the "it isn't you it's me" speech and break up with her.   If I had to go at this pregnancy without the field of medicine, so be it.
I gave the news to the nurse as she checked my blood pressure.  I knew she would write it on my chart, and I knew Dr. Chadha would see it before she entered my room.  Maybe this would shorten my dreaded visit.   Less talk for me.
.  
Dr. Chadha has always been a matter of fact, say it like it is kind of doctor.  I would not call her cold, but she comes from a culture that is not very touchy-feely with emotions....something she shared with me once.   She will feed you the bad news first, and then follow it with the really bad news.   Sometimes she pats my leg on her way out, but usually, she gives me a firm handshake and a paper that tells me all the things that are wrong with my body.   See you in 3 weeks.
I expected the "I told you pregnancy was not an option" speech to be much harsher than with the last doctor.
Then came the soft knock and swoop of the door.
Dr. Chadha came in the room, set down her chart, and looked straight into my eyes.   "Congratulations!", she said, as she reached out and hugged me.   I was in complete shock.
"So you are pregnant.    Let's get a game plan together on how we are going to do this."
She grabbed her chart and we jumped right in.

I tell you this background story because that day was the big turn for me in the miracle I am living.   I had not even told Doug about our baby.  I was scared, worried, upset, thrilled, and lonely in my news and Dr. Chadha not only jumped on my sinking boat that day, she paddled me to shore.
This pregnancy has been a miracle.   Each day it is more miraculous than the day before.   We are welcoming a baby boy to our family in just a few days.   A baby I dreamed about, but never thought I would meet.  

I waited a few weeks after my doctor's visits to tell Doug the news.   It was Father's Day morning.   I purposly held out so I could  tell him on this special day.   His reaction was even better than Dr. Chadha's.
 I secretly caught it on tape. 
On a side note:  I still hope to capture and burn that Vote for Pedro shirt. I've always hated that thing.



What you don't see on that video is the moments following that announcement when Doug cupped my face in his hands and reassured me that this was meant to be and EVERYTHING was going to be fine.
And I fully believed him.

There was never really any other option but to bring this little guy home to his adoring big sister and loving parents.
And that is what we will do.

Then, we will burn the Pedro shirt.