Letter to my Lovey

Dearest Sweet K-

Your world forever changed this week, and I wanted to take a moment to tell you that change did not pass by unnoticed by those of us who love you deeply. For many years, you have been the focus, the drive, the universe in mine and daddy's lives. That has not changed now, nor will it ever. Simply said, all that has happened, is that space you occupy is now a pocket in which you AND your brother reside. No one gets more space, more love, more universe, it is quite simply a shared space. Equally portioned. You will hear that a lot when you get older, the old saying about how your heart grows when you have a second child, and you don't stop loving the other child more, you just grow a bigger heart and share the love. It all sounds so silly until it happens. It really just happens. Like that wiggly tooth that you feel so anxious and scared will hurt when you tug it out, and then it just falls out and you feel nothing. Then you think, was that it? Really? How simple. It just happens.

I will admit that these first few days with your brother have been an adjustment. Daddy and I worried so much about how you would take the changes. WE are the ones who are struggling. You.....you just go with the flow. At times you are the one with the calming words of reassurance. I physically hurt when I think of you holding him in your arms for the first time. He stared at you. You stared at him, and when you finally looked up, you were almost crying. "I really do love him, mom.", you said. I know you do. I really know you do.

Now you have a taste of what dad and I feel each time we look at the two of you.

This journey is not always going to be rainbows and lollipops. The little guy can scream and he can demand a lot of patience and time. Sometimes it is going to cut into YOUR time, but I just ask that you remember how much he loves you and give that time willingly.

I love that every time you hear him cry, you come peeking in to check on him. "Is he okay, mama? Do you need any help?".

Every day, this little boy is teaching and reteaching us the things that are most important. Patience, kindness and love. Most of all love.

I love you, Kaelan. I really, really do.

Love,

Mama

P.S. I will put it in writing so someday you will know just how forgiving you were of your little brother. Today when he spit up on your shirt, you simply laughed it off and sweetly whispered in his ear, "That's okay, little guy. Your throw up is not that bad. It looks like bird poop, but it does not smell and it came from you so I am not mad."