Valentine's Day means the time of year for the Daddy/Daughter Dance is at hand.
This annual event was a little different this year.
Doug and Kaelan made plans to attend the dance, they had bought their tickets and highlighted this special day on the calendar. We had fully expected our new little bundle would have arrived a few weeks before the event when we bought the tickets, but he held out much longer than the doctors or any us could have imagined, and that meant things were a little hectic around dance day. The day he came home from the hospital turned out to be the same day as the dance.
Usually, mommy gets to help out with the big event. I get to help pick out the dress or fix up the hair. This year I wasn't able to help out much at all. The doctors let us leave the hospital two days before they were planning (still a 4 day stay) ONLY if we agreed to bubble ourselves off, have no visitors and wear masks. This limited me on what I could do, so the dress and hair drama had to fall on someone else. I think Kaelan and dad did a fine job. Wouldn't you agree?
I must say, when I saw these shoes, I was a little nervous, but they did match the dress! (Thanks to grandma for that dress!)
Dad said Kaelan was quite shy and didn't want to dance much this year....that is until Michael Jackson hit the speakers. She has a new infatuation with MJ. The two went out for dinner/dessert after the dance, and even brought home a special dessert for mama. In years past, the night of daddy/daughter dance was a night out with the girls for mom. This year, I spent it with a fabulous guy....poopy diapers and all.
aka: Otis, Sugar Britches, Pickle, BoogerBoo, and Mr. Snuffastinkapuss
Age: 2 weeks and counting
But does age really matter???? Can I get an AMEN, Ashton Kutcher?
Stats: Height: Long (almost 20 inches), Hair Color: Dark (what little hair I have), and HANDSOME
Relationship Status: SINGLE!
Occupation: Lactation consultant/Diaper Engineer
Musical Tastes: Love the Vacuum Cleaner, White Noise and the sound of my sister's voice
Hobbies: Sleeping, Eating at only the finest of establishments, travel (love my carseat), Eating, Staring at things until my eyes cross
Apartment or Home: Right now I'm crashing at my parent's house....in their room actually. I have my own pad (still in their house), but I am not quite ready to be out on my own just yet.
Describe the perfect first date: Basically, it would involve a nice tour of the neighborhood in a comfy double stroller. A tasty meal (taken in my usual Slllooooowwwww manner). Perhaps a little tummy time (on separate mats....I'm not that kind of guy), a peaceful nap and ending with a relaxing dip in my warm baby tub (but without full submersion, as I have not yet lost my umbilical cord). You game?
Goals: Get on a good schedule and sleep 7-9 hours uninterrupted a night (wait...I think that is my mom's goal). Keep my clothing poo free (another of mom's). AND do my best not to baptize mom with my golden showers during diaper change time.
Your world forever changed this week, and I wanted to take a moment to tell you that change did not pass by unnoticed by those of us who love you deeply. For many years, you have been the focus, the drive, the universe in mine and daddy's lives. That has not changed now, nor will it ever. Simply said, all that has happened, is that space you occupy is now a pocket in which you AND your brother reside. No one gets more space, more love, more universe, it is quite simply a shared space. Equally portioned. You will hear that a lot when you get older, the old saying about how your heart grows when you have a second child, and you don't stop loving the other child more, you just grow a bigger heart and share the love. It all sounds so silly until it happens. It really just happens. Like that wiggly tooth that you feel so anxious and scared will hurt when you tug it out, and then it just falls out and you feel nothing. Then you think, was that it? Really? How simple. It just happens.
I will admit that these first few days with your brother have been an adjustment. Daddy and I worried so much about how you would take the changes. WE are the ones who are struggling. You.....you just go with the flow. At times you are the one with the calming words of reassurance. I physically hurt when I think of you holding him in your arms for the first time. He stared at you. You stared at him, and when you finally looked up, you were almost crying. "I really do love him, mom.", you said. I know you do. I really know you do.
Now you have a taste of what dad and I feel each time we look at the two of you.
This journey is not always going to be rainbows and lollipops. The little guy can scream and he can demand a lot of patience and time. Sometimes it is going to cut into YOUR time, but I just ask that you remember how much he loves you and give that time willingly.
I love that every time you hear him cry, you come peeking in to check on him. "Is he okay, mama? Do you need any help?".
Every day, this little boy is teaching and reteaching us the things that are most important. Patience, kindness and love. Most of all love.
I love you, Kaelan. I really, really do.
Love,
Mama
P.S. I will put it in writing so someday you will know just how forgiving you were of your little brother. Today when he spit up on your shirt, you simply laughed it off and sweetly whispered in his ear, "That's okay, little guy. Your throw up is not that bad. It looks like bird poop, but it does not smell and it came from you so I am not mad."
A little over 8 months ago, I sat in a doctor's office with sweat beading on my brow and upper lip awaiting the inevitable soft knock on the door followed by the entry of the doctor. When the knock happened and the door opened in one fast motion, I sat up straight and prepared myself for the lashing to come. I was pregnant. I knew I was, now he probably knew I was, and he didn't want me to be.
This was the first doctor to tell me that pregnancy was just not going to be the best option for me. Not at that time, and maybe not ever. He wasn't exactly friendly in the way he told me, but he was very stern in telling me to take precautions in preventing it. I did. I had reached the stage of resigning to not carry another child. Heck, we were knee deep, no make that neck deep in the adoption process.
What I didn't expect to hear was what the doctor said to me in that visit.
"Well, this IS the reason the medical field offers us 'options'. There are ways to fix these kind of issues and get you out of this kind of pickle."
Pickle? Options? Lots of token words, but later in the conversation he used stronger words that stung. Words like "terminate". Words like abortion.
That wasn't my favorite day. I had two more doctors to face with the same news and I dreaded the same response. I went to a specialist a week later completely ready to break up with yet another doctor. I wasn't even going to let the conversation start down that same path. I just decided to cut it off at the start and explain the "option" was not for me, give her the "it isn't you it's me" speech and break up with her. If I had to go at this pregnancy without the field of medicine, so be it.
I gave the news to the nurse as she checked my blood pressure. I knew she would write it on my chart, and I knew Dr. Chadha would see it before she entered my room. Maybe this would shorten my dreaded visit. Less talk for me.
.
Dr. Chadha has always been a matter of fact, say it like it is kind of doctor. I would not call her cold, but she comes from a culture that is not very touchy-feely with emotions....something she shared with me once. She will feed you the bad news first, and then follow it with the really bad news. Sometimes she pats my leg on her way out, but usually, she gives me a firm handshake and a paper that tells me all the things that are wrong with my body. See you in 3 weeks.
I expected the "I told you pregnancy was not an option" speech to be much harsher than with the last doctor.
Then came the soft knock and swoop of the door.
Dr. Chadha came in the room, set down her chart, and looked straight into my eyes. "Congratulations!", she said, as she reached out and hugged me. I was in complete shock.
"So you are pregnant. Let's get a game plan together on how we are going to do this."
She grabbed her chart and we jumped right in.
I tell you this background story because that day was the big turn for me in the miracle I am living. I had not even told Doug about our baby. I was scared, worried, upset, thrilled, and lonely in my news and Dr. Chadha not only jumped on my sinking boat that day, she paddled me to shore.
This pregnancy has been a miracle. Each day it is more miraculous than the day before. We are welcoming a baby boy to our family in just a few days. A baby I dreamed about, but never thought I would meet.
I waited a few weeks after my doctor's visits to tell Doug the news. It was Father's Day morning. I purposly held out so I could tell him on this special day. His reaction was even better than Dr. Chadha's.
I secretly caught it on tape.
On a side note: I still hope to capture and burn that Vote for Pedro shirt. I've always hated that thing.
What you don't see on that video is the moments following that announcement when Doug cupped my face in his hands and reassured me that this was meant to be and EVERYTHING was going to be fine.
And I fully believed him.
There was never really any other option but to bring this little guy home to his adoring big sister and loving parents.
And that is what we will do.
Kaelan: Darian, I need to talk to you about something.
Darian: Okay.
Kaelan: D, this is not good news. It is something that is really, really serious and really, really might make you sad.
Darian: Okay.
Kaelan: I will just tell you this and it may make you sad. It made me very sad.
Darian: Okay. You can tell me.
Kaelan: Darian.......The Beatles broke up.
(Long quiet pause. Probably for a moment of silence.)
Wow! Another year gone. When I look back over the pictures of 2010 and the flood of memories it brings, it doesn't even seem possible that all that fit into one year. We are truly blessed!
We are looking forward to all 2011 brings....especially one super sweet boy coming soon!
Now that the whole blog hacking mess is behind us, I can catch you up on some old news.....because that was the reason I was so far behind. Really. I was just waiting for that to be cleared up and then I could press on in my usual reliable blogging manner. Whatever.
Season 2 for The Knights ended last month, and though it was a tough season, Kaelan actually found a deep love for soccer. It happened at the very END of the season, but nonetheless, she decided she actually liked it. That may or may not have come after we told her dancing and spinning on the field were no longer acceptable. She was playing with the big boys and girls now, and she needed to take things a little more seriously or not play. Yes, we became competitive parents this season. The paradigm has shifted.
I just loved the way the kiddos would "hug huddle" before each play. We had to stop the hand holding on the line this season, which was actually quite sad, but it is all part of going competitive. Sigh.
Thumbs up to each other. So cute....we just can't drop this, or I won't be able to hack this competitive stuff.
We are so lucky to have Aunt Sara living here in Austin with us. She is so awesome and supports Kaelan in so many things. I think she is actually starting to be a "yeller" like me. Man, we are even ruining sweet Sara.
Soccer games are all about the snacks. I have quickly learned, when it is your week to bring snack, you better come through in a good way. Kids will remember this kind of thing for the rest of their lives.
We ended the season with I won't even tell you the season record. Yep, it was that sad.
We did win a few games, though, and Kaelan did score some goals. She also picked a lot of flowers and kicked a ton of ant hills, but we will overlook that for "edge" purposes.
